Remember that song a couple of years ago about the Nick Cave dolls? It was by Bongwater. Bongwater… bong… bong… Bongwater… that’s a bong… that’s what I said, Bongwater. Anyway, it was just bound to happen that someone would start selling them on eBay. And I was one of the stupid people who was destined to buy one.
It took weeks, but I finally got my Nick Cave doll. I ripped open the package, and there he was – Nick Cave in miniature. But something was wrong about it. He didn’t look like Nick Cave. He didn’t look like Nick Drake. He didn’t even look like Dennis Miller, or the John Stewart stormtrooper doll. Shit – he looked like one of those creatures from that Star Trek series, the Ferengi or something… He looked like that guy who made me the teochew dumpling noodles I had for dinner tonight, those pork dumplings that are sitting like a lump of rotting carcass in my stomach, the ones that are growing and heaving.
All of a sudden I don’t feel so good. I don’t even want my Nick Cave doll near me any more. I just want to… puke! HYACK-HYACK-HYACK-HYACK!!!!
GreatGrandGreen