I went to the public library and I got our some unbelievable funky comics!
TCBSD
“The Creeper”, by Steve Ditko – A groovy Steve Ditko creation for Marvel, the Creeper initiates a war on crime and blasts apart a bunch of crooks, then takes on mysterious superpowered villains, like Proteus, who can make himself look like anyone. The Creeper himself is cool looking, and he has a gimmick of terrorizing criminals with his insane laughter that’s, in a way, pretty funny. Lots of murder and mayhem as some of the Creeper’s enemies are totally unscrupulous, and forever shooting down informants as they talk to the Creeper.
GH/RH
Green Hulk/Red Hulk – A totally outrageous set, the story chronicles the sudden appearance of a new super creature, the Red Hulk. While the Hulk is generally child-like, destructive, and very green, Red Hulk is murderous, malevolent, arrogant, sleazy, and quite happy to finish off an enemy by shooting him between the eyes after having beaten him in an inch of his life. He finishes off the Abomination in this way, but of course in no time a new Abmonation has sprouted up in the form of Rick Jones, who inexplicably becomes another Abomination. Red Hulk takes on Iron Man, She-Hulk, and terrorist-like brings down the SHIELD. helicarrier. He takes on Thor, Ares and the Sub-Mariner, as well as Moon Knight (huh? he doesn’t even have super-powers), as well as Ms Marvel. In one of the stranger episodes, the Hulk (both green and grey) enters the picture and pick a fight with a squad of wendigo – men who have been turned into werewolves after engaging in cannibalism – who are freed from their curse by Brother Voodoo (???). Finally, She-Hulk enlists the help of a bunch of female superheros (Thundra, Storm, Invisible Girl, Brunnhilda and a few others) to get revenge on the creep for beating her up in the SHIELD heli-carrier. Leonard Samson and Thunderbolt Ross show up, as do a few Soviet superheroes (Ursa Major, Red Guardian, etc). Finally, there’s a recreation of the Hulk’s encounter in Canada with Wolverine, and some kiddy comics of the red, blue and green hulks hanging out. One strange thing about the collection is that in one scene, Red Hulk is shown with Thunderbolt Ross, who it seems is Red Hulk – how can they be in the same place at the same time?
The story is good fun in a very stupid way, but ultimately I have to wonder why comic books are so dumb now. In the past, comic book writers used to waste a lot of panels with dialogue that offer the most convoluted explanations as to why something happened, now they don’t even bother explaining anything.
H:HNM
Hulk: Hulk No More – While I was amused at the “Green Hulk/Red Hulk” collection, this one really tried my patience, starting with the illogical title, proceeding through the boring battles between evenly-matched opponents, all the way to the preposterous triple betrayals at the end. Jeez louise!
The first story is one of those corny “we elder super-gods will each select a team of Earth’s finest heroes and villains and pit them against each other” gladiator tale. Barfy and hammy, although there is a fun moment when Red Hulk steals the Silver Surfer’s surfboard and zooms around the universe for fun. There’s also a sick scene when Tiger Shark bites deep into Namor’s neck (ewww!!!). Red Hulk kills everybody, including Dormammu, Psycho Man and the High Evolutionary… only to be stopped by Galactus, who strips him of the cosmic power that Red Hulk had absorbed from the Silver Surfer (that’s his mutant ability, by the way – he can absorb others’ power, sort of like Roger the homonulcus in the Hellboy/Mike Mignola universe). Then there’s a Ben Ulrich adventure (reporters in comic books have a fine tradition for creating boredom, going all the way back to Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen), that shows Red Hulk destroying Green Hulk by draining him of his powers; oh yeah, AIM, Modok and Spiderman all come into the picture at this point. Then there’s Rick/The Abomination’s battle with Ares, which is stupid and indecisive (although there’s a nice bit of irony in there somewhere too). But it doesn’t get worse than the battle between two teams: Red Hulk, Punisher, Dynamo, Deadpool and Thundra (and, maybe, an indecisive Electra) versus Wolverine, X-23, Arcangel, Wrapath and Domino. Brawling, Wolverine slashes Red Hulk’s eyes, blinding him, then Wolverine is thrown high into the air (of course, he lands in the river and has to make his way back). That’s the extent of his involvement, pretty much, outside of a lot of posing. Of course, the Red She-Hulk then makes an appearance, as does Doc Samson, and in a final story the good doctor visits his shrink who is none other than… Modok!
Here’s a stupid scene – Red Hulk tumbles from the top of the Empire State Building the resulting impact awakens The Thing in the nearby Baxter Building, who complains that he’s been woken up… and that’s the last we ever see of him. Terrible. And, like the “Green Hulk/Red Hulk” book, you get kiddy Hulks comics at the end that are quite immature, of course (but maybe not quite as immature as the pages that came before it).
DTU-BFFs
Deadpool Team-Up BFFs – Another stupid comic, starting off with Deadpool, now a professional wrestling manager, teaming up with The Thing, a pro wrestling ringside commentator, against Max Intensity, the most famous wrestler in the universe looking for a new battle. Of course, Max Intensity rips himself in two so that there can be a tag team – they defeat him, but not before it is revealed to our disbelieving duo that, yes, wresting is faked. NO!!!!! Right. Then there’s the Raiders of the Lost Ark Deadpool in Asgard trying to steal Norse treasure from the gods, only to awaken evil spirit Den Vakre, trapped inside a gem or something; by the end, Thor doesn’t seem to notice how immature Deadpool is and commends his character, encouraging him to improve his self-esteem and have more confidence in himself (and no, I don’t think it was intended to be ironic). Barf. Then Iron Fist and Deadpool team up to defeat mystic kung fu madman Gin Goh, the serially-reincarnated slayer of millions. Deadpool takes millions of hits, he’s stabbed and trampled, but that’s okay – he’s indestructible, everything heals near-instantly. Deadpool then teams up with the Hellcow against a mad scientist, becoming a vampire himself temporarily before his healing restores him (can’t keep a good Deadpool undead for long), and three’s some sort of really strange ending to that one, including Deadpool eating a Hellcow-burger, – of course, a very angry Hellcow is also recuscitated. Deadpool teams up with a whacked out Watcher (and his assistant), who for once breaks his vow of inactivity and simply joins in the fray against an alien dog creature. Superfluous. Deadpool next becomes a herald of Galactus (!) for more hijink, and the torture concludes when he teams up with Wolverine to defeat a Shi’ar robot. Happily he saves the day by… cross dressing. Nice.